Love letter to myself

Dear me,

I write this awe to you today,

For you forever hold my breathe and make me wonder…

I admire you ,

Your beauty one of those that have not existed …

You are simple, and smile at little things,

Life wants to shower you with love but this lifetime seems the impossible goal

You jump at a loud sound ,

You cry at a frown,

You are timid, and scared yet hold the face of a lioness.

You also want to fall asleep in the arms of life, where nothing matters to you and you shut your thought off with no worries no isssues, and no problems.

You wake up to day to day life and always thrive to make others happy ,

You behold the beauty of the kingdom.

You dream for little things in life , and your list is long ,

No one knows the real you, because you shut yourself to the world, oh please little princess love yourself more …. than only will the other love you with a passion.

Never doubt your inner strength as you are a strong woman, holding many emotions inside , deep down inside.

Let those feeling free and for once allow the world to try and love you back once again.

You forever hold my breathe and make me wonder….

A.P.

Dreams

Dreams are the way I search my soul,

I leave my body, whilst my soul is out,

My soul leaves

My body just lays there dormant awaiting a return at some stage ….

Dreams are the way I search my soul ,

Why me and why again , the dilemma is great and painful, yet I stay calm and collected

My souls leaves

My body just lays there dormant …..

The Red Rose – story of Ora

The Red Rose

When spring blossoms in the atmosphere, new life nurtures.

Various colours, shapes and sizes,

All special in their own way.

The most beautiful rose in town,

The crimson colour of red it holds.

The sweet smell captured in the finest mixes of scents,

Each coil reveals a story.

The red rose

As perfect as perfection could be,

Till the day a petal sheds,

Then more…

The beauty is no longer admired with such ore’

Life can sometimes feel like that : the red rose with its lost beauty.

The red rose

Having shed the few petals makes the difference.

People no longer want the red rose in their perfectly manicured gardens.

Have you ever admired the red rose ?

I have

I am the red rose”

Yet I believe and know;

I still hold the beauty within my cuts and creases,

As pretty as I once blossomed, opened each coil, flourishing making the earth pretty.

The red rose still captures the sweetness of nature

-A.P-

Silent Night

Silent night , silent night….

Oh shall you speak ?,

Speak with warmth and desire;

For that is all I require.

Silent night , silent night

Hold me tight,

So I can make it feel right.

Wrap me in your blanket of darkness,

Set me free,

For that is how I want to be.

Silent night, silent night

Bless upon me like a shooting star.

Resurge me,

For that is what I urge to…

Silent night, silent night

Grant me the wish of freedom,

Over my lonesome kingdom,

Greed, lust and need shall serve their deed.

Silent night, silent night ,

Oh do not go, for I shall never know what your beauty holds;

All of those stories told….

Silent night, silent night….

Oh shall you speak…?

-A.P-

Life…

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Life,

Its an Ore, how amazing it is that one can not see beyond the fake colours all spread around.

The chirping birds are so beautiful in their tone, yet the loud couple walking past just broke my attention.

I move my attention else where, to find somewhat of relief, the ocean, so calm when it is not storming, yet when those waves get angry they can destruct.

Life, Oh how fascinating..

The forever once lovers, walking hand cupped in hand, how delightful.

The Brain has given us many sensory systems and what hurts the most is the central nervous system seems paralysed

I pick up by dead weighted body and struggle to stand.

I fall once and than take 5 steps, than tumble back 3 steps, gaining only two,

but that only two, is like a mile for me.

Life , Oh how fascinating..

The cool breeze caress my cheeks, makes my body realise it needs to regulate its thermostat, I shrug off the feelings pulling down and hold my head up in pride

It wasn’t easy but I managed and I shall keep doing it

Never giving up

Becoming Resilient

Life, Oh how fascinating

 

– A.P. Ora

One of those type of days

It’s one of those type of days,

One where I just feel like snuggling with you, so very close.

Almost makes me want to feel all your affection.

Your arms around me, keeping me warm, whilst my heat radiates into you.

It’s one of those type of days,

Holding your hand whilst I walk, no matter what the destination bd

Being around you is all that is important to me;

Oh what an amazing feeling it is.

I want to make you feel special in all ways possible.

I want to make you smile at all the small things we do together.

I want to listen to you,

I want to know you more in depth, anything and everything baby.

It’s one of those type of days,

When the sun goes down, you rest your head on my chest while I caress your hair and make you unwind from all the stress of the day.

Listen to my heart beat and sooth your soul.

I want you to feel like the very special man you are.

I want to cradle you in my arms and make you feel at ease, with no worries of the world.

You are everyones dream and right now I want to live that dream with you beside my side and share it with you.

-A.P Ora

Adrift

Adrift I am away from thoughts that conquer my vision,

Adrift I want to remain for ever from those locked away moments,

I do not want to feel fear,

I do not want to feel pain,

Forever afloat on cloud 9, shall I remain.

Adrift I am from those noises that break my peace I usually meditate to.

Adrift I am from the rest of the world full of glam.

I feel love,

I feel passion,

I feel warmth

Adrift I am …

The Dark Room

This is a very special piece for me to express the emotions and situation that one can almost never delete from the brain and please do read it as it will hopefully help someone one day. It took me a lot of courage to put this together .

The Dark Room

The dark room

The clock ticked in my brain ,

I’m sure and definite each second was a minute,

Each minute was an hour ,

And each hour was a day,

And each day turned into days.

The dark room

My vision was blur,

In and out of consciousness,

The memory cannot recall anymore.

The drugs didn’t help, legal and illegal.

Mercy was all I could seek for at that very stage.

The dark room

The woman in me,

In fact the human in me died sometime amongst those moments.

Those very moments stripped my soul of life,

Raped my innocence

No light , no air, no hydration nor nutrition,

My body went into Autopilot mode,

Survival instincts kept me breathing and nurturing my body, to keep wishing for the last breathe not to be the last one.

The dark room

Faith had reached it’s toll,

No other thought crossed my central nervous system other than to beg with my voice, that was merely heard.

Or maybe it was never voiced

The dark room

The dark room became home to my soulless body, naked, cold, and bruised, for those days , hours, minutes and seconds.

My bare body was in excruciating pain, almost to the point that the fight flight reaction didn’t even kick in.

Beating after beating,

Negative words, pure evil surrounded me as I lay emotionless , dead to the world.

The dark room

With no life left in me, the Dark room killed the person I was once,

That girl is buried under the grounds of the dark room and she shall never live again.

That very day I Died

In The Dark room

A.P.

Peaceful mindblock / sleep

Oh when was it that I last recall having to sleep with no thoughts ?

Why does it happen that I awaken at night and scream?

Why does the mind keep playing surreal games ?

Oh when was it that I last recall having a sleep with no thoughts

Peace is no longer around me and the tension of my body reflects on my mind.

Fear is always around , no matter how much I try I just can’t seem to have a mindblock

The range of remedies,

Meditation

Walking

Excercising

Expert advice

Even medication

How I wish upon a shooting star to get that one night of sleep when my mind doesn’t stay awake with astrotravelling, nightmares, surreal images

Help has reached its peak and now I know how mental illness can affect someone to the core of their bones

A.P.

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