The Red Rose – story of Ora

The Red Rose

When spring blossoms in the atmosphere, new life nurtures.

Various colours, shapes and sizes,

All special in their own way.

The most beautiful rose in town,

The crimson colour of red it holds.

The sweet smell captured in the finest mixes of scents,

Each coil reveals a story.

The red rose

As perfect as perfection could be,

Till the day a petal sheds,

Then more…

The beauty is no longer admired with such ore’

Life can sometimes feel like that : the red rose with its lost beauty.

The red rose

Having shed the few petals makes the difference.

People no longer want the red rose in their perfectly manicured gardens.

Have you ever admired the red rose ?

I have

I am the red rose”

Yet I believe and know;

I still hold the beauty within my cuts and creases,

As pretty as I once blossomed, opened each coil, flourishing making the earth pretty.

The red rose still captures the sweetness of nature

-A.P-

One of those type of days

It’s one of those type of days,

One where I just feel like snuggling with you, so very close.

Almost makes me want to feel all your affection.

Your arms around me, keeping me warm, whilst my heat radiates into you.

It’s one of those type of days,

Holding your hand whilst I walk, no matter what the destination bd

Being around you is all that is important to me;

Oh what an amazing feeling it is.

I want to make you feel special in all ways possible.

I want to make you smile at all the small things we do together.

I want to listen to you,

I want to know you more in depth, anything and everything baby.

It’s one of those type of days,

When the sun goes down, you rest your head on my chest while I caress your hair and make you unwind from all the stress of the day.

Listen to my heart beat and sooth your soul.

I want you to feel like the very special man you are.

I want to cradle you in my arms and make you feel at ease, with no worries of the world.

You are everyones dream and right now I want to live that dream with you beside my side and share it with you.

-A.P Ora

Adrift

Adrift I am away from thoughts that conquer my vision,

Adrift I want to remain for ever from those locked away moments,

I do not want to feel fear,

I do not want to feel pain,

Forever afloat on cloud 9, shall I remain.

Adrift I am from those noises that break my peace I usually meditate to.

Adrift I am from the rest of the world full of glam.

I feel love,

I feel passion,

I feel warmth

Adrift I am …

The Dark Room

This is a very special piece for me to express the emotions and situation that one can almost never delete from the brain and please do read it as it will hopefully help someone one day. It took me a lot of courage to put this together .

The Dark Room

The dark room

The clock ticked in my brain ,

I’m sure and definite each second was a minute,

Each minute was an hour ,

And each hour was a day,

And each day turned into days.

The dark room

My vision was blur,

In and out of consciousness,

The memory cannot recall anymore.

The drugs didn’t help, legal and illegal.

Mercy was all I could seek for at that very stage.

The dark room

The woman in me,

In fact the human in me died sometime amongst those moments.

Those very moments stripped my soul of life,

Raped my innocence

No light , no air, no hydration nor nutrition,

My body went into Autopilot mode,

Survival instincts kept me breathing and nurturing my body, to keep wishing for the last breathe not to be the last one.

The dark room

Faith had reached it’s toll,

No other thought crossed my central nervous system other than to beg with my voice, that was merely heard.

Or maybe it was never voiced

The dark room

The dark room became home to my soulless body, naked, cold, and bruised, for those days , hours, minutes and seconds.

My bare body was in excruciating pain, almost to the point that the fight flight reaction didn’t even kick in.

Beating after beating,

Negative words, pure evil surrounded me as I lay emotionless , dead to the world.

The dark room

With no life left in me, the Dark room killed the person I was once,

That girl is buried under the grounds of the dark room and she shall never live again.

That very day I Died

In The Dark room

A.P.

Exit the thoughts

It’s hard as it is to do, as easy as it is to say.

Exit the thoughts that haunt you

If we were to live in the hope of an answer or an outcome life would take its toll as it does in any other situation.

Thoughts that cloud the memory, and give you nightmares are the ones you want to escape and exit from.

Once someone smart told me that you bring in the thought that haunts you so much and than visualise the exit or delete button and there you go it’s all erased.

Well I tried this strategy for over a decade and believe it or not I think I have programmed my brain to think it’s been deleted. It had my sanity a little I guess but if only it was that easy to exit a thought

Exit the thoughts that haunt you

Maybe sometimes we just don’t credit the human brain enough?!

Maybe if we really want we can make ourselves think that it’s all over and not have the emotional burden.

-A.P.

The Reach… In hope of

The reach… In hope of

My fingers tremble, as my hand reaches out,

I keep that surreal look to my mind,

In some hope of touching the untouched.

The season of spring brings some glory to my hope.

Life had turned anti clockwise.

My fingers tremble,

My soul keeps trying,

As the physical body is on its last drive,

I feel the attempt will fail me yet once again.

The winter cold makes me shiver,

And the storms try and fight me.

Each look towards pure innocence seems so unreal.

Oh why do my fingers tremble.

As nature strips the tress and hope of life in Autumn, I await with my heart clenched in my throat.

My fingers tremble.

Minute after minute,

Hour after hour,

Day after day,

Week after week,

Month after month,

Season after season,

Year after year,

I do not give up

In hope of my journey to end,

Achieving success.

In summer the sun burns each layer of me,

I still reach in hope…

My fingers tremble.

There is a cycle I am locked up in and all my withered body knows is that I’m reaching out in hope.

My fingers tremble.

-A.P.

This picture is painted by Mayhem”

Thank you for sharing it with me

And the writing is based on the painting

Anxiety in definition

Anxiety is more than just feeling stressed or worried. While stress and anxious feelings are a common response to a situation where we feel under pressure, they usually pass once the stressful situation has passed, or ‘stressor’ is removed.

Anxiety is when these anxious feelings don’t go away – when they’re ongoing and happen without any particular reason or cause. It’s a serious condition that makes it hard to cope with daily life. Everyone feels anxious from time to time, but for someone experiencing anxiety, these feelings aren’t easily controlled. (Beyond blue)

Types of Anxiety;

Generalised Anxiety disorder (GAD)

A person feels anxious on most days, worrying about lots of different things, for a period of six months or more.

Social anxiety

A person has an intense fear of being criticised, embarrassed or humiliated, even in everyday situations, such as speaking publicly, eating in public, being assertive at work or making small talk.

Specific Phobias

A person feels very fearful about a particular object or situation and may go to great lengths to avoid it, for example, having an injection or travelling on a plane. There are many different types of phobias.

Panic Disorder

A person has panic attacks, which are intense, overwhelming and often uncontrollable feelings of anxiety combined with a range of physical symptoms. Someone having a panic attack may experience shortness of breath, chest pain, dizziness and excessive perspiration. Sometimes, people experiencing a panic attack think they are having a heart attack or are about to die. If a person has recurrent panic attacks or persistently fears having one for more than a month, they’re said to have panic disorder.

Who can help other than your, GP, psychologist, psychiatrist, mental health nurses, Hospitals, crisis assessment or acute treatment teams.

Beyond blue support services

1300 22 4636

https://www.google.com/url?sa=t&source=web&cd=12&ved=2ahUKEwjVu7iA3YTdAhVWA4gKHfXWCZEQFjALegQIAhAB&url=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.beyondblue.org.au%2Fthe-facts%2Fanxiety&usg=AOvVaw0lfqVyN1E2X0uHdjbeTLhj

This context is from the beyond blue webiste

Scars

Scars’

Not only a mark, a reminder, a memory, the ultimate playback to what was once the moment you just wanted it to be over…

Scars don’t traumatise me anymore,

They make me strong .

Scars make me realise why”

Scars make me proud that I lived the moment.

The moment that life could have either taken a U turn, or the moment life could have hit the ultimate decision point .

Scars are your achievements, they are your character, they are your inner realisation to reality of that’ one moment

A.P.

MIRRORS

Mirrors

I am a mirror to my body’

I am a mirror to my Mind’

I am a mirror to my deranged thoughts’

I am a mirror to my locked up soul’

“Mirror mirror on the wall, who is the most miserable of us all?”

Mirrors were once an object that ancient Egyptians, Romans and Greeks were very fond of.

For instant a broken mirror till this day is said to bring 7 years of bad luck.

They say that the mirror symbolically Inceases what it reflects’ (Feng shui)

Cracks in mirrors can fragment your life’ how does one reverse a fragmented self’

Mirrors are known to increase vital Chi (energy) of a space itself, than what about me?

“Mirror mirror on they wall, who is the most Displaced of us all?”

The human mind will see only’ what it wants to see, in the most truthful object possibly ever known of; The Mirror’

Unfortunately the human mind cannot sight beyond appearance, skin, hair, or even a fake smile set in a locked mirror image called a photograph.

False inner self’

False Smile that tries to hold the day’

False attitude I we wear’

The mirror shows us all;

what is it that you would to sight ?

Mirror mirror on the wall who is the sweet soul locked inside of me?’

Mirror replies at last, look deep within and you will see what your searching for, it is not lost yet, wake up and look into the beauty that you still portray. Look at the real meaning behind that fake smile, Look behind the first layer of your skin and shall find what you seek my child ’  –  Ora’

I look so hard and so dedicated yet I still cannot find what I’m trying to view.

I keep looking for hours and hours till the day ends and all I manage to find after a struggle is; A miserable me.

Mirror Mirror on the wall’……..

A.P.

 

 

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